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In essence, you don’t have to say, "Um, hey, so I found your vibrator, do you want to talk about it? But you can still have value-based conversations about sex without your kid wanting to crawl under the covers and play white noise until you leave them alone. In fact, it’s important to discuss consent and birth control and alcohol and all the other things that can help them make smart decisions when the time comes. Finding a vibrator doesn’t have to be the focus of the discussion, but perhaps it’s a catalyst for other topics. Reed also notes that toys can also be useful conversation-starters, especially if you and/or your partner struggle to communicate your needs in the bedroom.
As vibrators began to appear in more and more pornographic movies, it became harder and harder for manufacturers to advertise these devices as though they were simply massagers. Slowly but surely, they disappeared from reputable magazines and mail-order catalogs of the day. Rachel Maines argued that medical practitioners of the time utilized technology to induce a "hysterical paroxysm" in their female hysteria patients.
You can, however, both take turns in the bedroom with your toys. For many of my clients, this helps them and their partners feel like they’re able to take care of each other sexually and helps their self-pleasure time feel more secure. Rabbit vibrators do the trick for most of us — yes, even if you have a penis. Their shape can be a little awkward for prostate stimulation, but using a vibrator on the head, shaft, or perineum of a penis can provide an incredible sensation and improve erections. Admittedly, for sex toys that aren’t phallic-shaped, putting a condom on top can be… awkward.
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