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How did sex toys get from the Pleasure Chest to the shelves of Walmart, a store so conservative it banned Cosmopolitan from its checkout aisles for being too risqué? Broad City, in some ways a quirky, millennial successor to Sex and the City, even has its very own line of sex toys. However, some couples might feel like sex toys highlight their own failings in the bedroom, or they feel competitive or belittled by the things that toys can do! It’s important to not view sex toys in this light, but instead as a fun way to reach new kinds of pleasure with your partner. At the end of the day, it’s really about how much use you’ll get out of a product.

If you use latex condoms, use a silicone or water-based lube like Sliquid Sassy or Uberlube — oil-based lubes degrade the integrity of the condom and create microscopic holes. Whether you’re using it alone or with a partner, throw a new condom on that bad boy every time it’s about to touch a new person — specifically a latex, polyurethane, or polyisoprene condom. For example, if you have vaginal gonorrhea, use a toy vaginally, and then immediately use it to stimulate your anus, it’s possible to give yourself anal gonorrhea. "You can also get a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, or urinary tract infection from a sex toy," says Stubbs.

Sharing sex toys with other people can spread STDs — if someone who has an STD uses a sex toy, the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the next person who uses that toy. So if you’re using a sex toy with a partner, it’s important to take steps to help prevent STDs. There are so many different kinds of sex toys and ways to use them that figuring out where to start can feel a little overwhelming. Going to a sex toy shop and asking someone who works there about different products can be a great way to learn more about sex toys and what might work well for you. You can also just try something that seems interesting and go from there. Or you may decide sex toys aren’t for you, and that’s totally OK too.

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